From One Survivor To Another
While each survivor’s experience is unique, the path to healing is a united front with a universal goal. To be able to thrive and be able to tolerate the memories, that once destroyed you, but most importantly to feel one day whole enough to enable yourself to feel joy again.
“Nothing lasts forever,” these are the simple words that I have on my sticky note…when I felt hopeless and when I didn’t think that I had the strength in me to continue this fight!”
Creating Your “Personal Cocoon”
Creating your personalized cocoon to thrive as a survivor, is a must! As a survivor, it is fundamentally important to create a “personal cocoon” for yourself in order to navigate this new world that you have suddenly been thrown into. Trauma is a different language and a different inner and outer world; it is you in a foreign country. You will have to fight to stay afloat but the warrior in you, will get you through it.
While in warrior state you will need to create a support system, that can only be formulated and tailored by you, to fit your story. I call this your personal cocoon, as you will have to selectivity invite people into your cocoon and build upon it as needed, to strengthen and protect yourself. So that one day, your trauma will be transformed into positivity and inner strength. The people that you invite into your space should add balance and a sense of security to your life. These are the people that will keep you afloat in your darkest moments. It could be your closest friends or a relative. The people that you feel comfortable laughing and crying with, someone that has always supported and uplifted you. You may choose to welcome mental health professionals, close friends, support groups. Not only are people important for your cocoon, but so are other things like meditation, the practice of yoga or, the kind words of strangers. Even though words are not visible like other parts of your cocoon, they may resonate and give you that boost, that you need to stay afloat. If someone says something that empowers you to keep fighting, then write it down on a sticky note and stick it in a place that will always be visible to you. The support that you will need, will change as your journey evolves so your cocoon will look different at any given stage. the people that will keep you moving forward, those are the ones that will keep you afloat in your darkest moments. Whether its your therapist or your best friend, it is with them that you will keep on rising.
Trauma from a Survivor’s Point of View
Trauma as defined, is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience. As a survivor, trauma is most defined as a time in life that has the ability to hijack one’s life forever. Trauma cannot be measured, as it has lifelong impact. It comes in all forms, ages, ethnicities, genders, walks of life, it has no borders. Trauma can begin before one is even born, but its effects are of a lifetime.
Life Post Trauma
Life after trauma can affect your loved ones and changes the course of your life dramatically. The people in your life that love you will continue to support you but may not fully understand what you are internally processing. You will need to accept that, unless you have lived it, you cannot fully understand it, with the exception of mental health professionals. So, you will have to accept your loved ones for the support that they perceive as supportive. Trauma also teaches you profound lessons and forces you to see the world from a very different lens, this can partly be a blessing as it will make you a better person, in the long run. You might begin to see things differently, in the best and worst light. You will also view people differently. You will start to understand what human connection really means and you will become more empathetic and loving towards others. However, you will need to learn how to keep people that impact your life negatively, as far away as possible and it may take time for you to figure out, who those people are. Trauma will teach you that life is unpredictable, no matter how planed out you had it. It will teach you that human connection, can save you at your darkest moment and it will teach you the true meaning of unconditional love. What all survivors can agree on is that it will change you for the better and for the worst. But most importantly in order to survive post trauma, you will have to learn to be an advocate for yourself, and for others that have walked in your shoes. To love yourself more than ever and to find a way to connect again with the ones who truly support you. You will have good days and bad days. Some days will be more triggering than others. For those days that you have been triggered, it is imperative that you utilize the tools that you were given to cope while in therapy. The aftermath is deeply internalized, but you can and will learn to adjust and fall into a routine that will keep you balanced and moving forward.
This is What You Need to Know
Fortunately, there is hope for those who have been faced with the unthinkable. The aftermath of trauma is better understood, the word PTSD is not as stigmatized as it used to be. We have more access to resources and mental health professionals, that are seasoned in helping survivors navigate this journey. If you built your cocoon right, you will continue to thrive and feel whole again.
I cannot advocate enough about the importance of attending psychotherapy during your healing journey as you need someone that is one step ahead of you, so that they can catch you before you fall. This should be a seasoned mental health professional. Not any mental health professional but preferably a psychologist that has extensive experience in working with trauma survivor. Every survivor should take the time to find the right therapist for them, this is crucial in order to heal. Make sure that your therapist is the right fit for you, go ahead and interview them. Your therapeutic journey should also include a support group.
Nothing Lasts Forever
As a domestic violence survivor and the mother of a trauma survivor, I attended a support group while I was securing restraining orders and reaching out to professionals. All while trying to keep my daughter and I safe. It was those support groups and mental health professionals that held us together, while I was slowly weaving our cocoon. Now it is filled with memories of strength, hope, love, and tools which will continue to keep us thriving.
“Nothing lasts forever”, these are the simple words that I have on my sticky note….these are the words that put the brake on, when I felt hopeless and when I didn’t think that I had the strength in me to continue this fight! These words were spoken to me by my grandmother’s caretaker and these are the words that kept me afloat.
It truly takes a village to build that cocoon and that is what makes surviving so beautiful.
From one Survivor to Another,
Ally